I lied and said I had a couple of glasses (try 5) and asked, "Why do you ask?" He said he could tell. I was acting "too chill" and, "well, I can kinda smell it on you." Nice. Not good at all. We didn't discuss it after that.
The only reason I started this blog was because of my sister. She's been sober over 2 years, though I didn't have a clue until she hit the six-month mark. She kept her sobriety a secret because she was afraid to fail. She's never set foot in a meeting, never told anyone about her struggles. Only her husband and I know she's in recovery. I asked her over the summer how she flipped the mental switch. How she went from drinking two bottles of wine and a six-pack a day in hiding to nothing all on her own.
Then she confessed her secret. She blogged. She has a random, secretive blog that she started at the beginning of her journey to sobriety. She says she doesn't post daily but as often as she needs to. She writes about her urge to drink instead of giving in. Those urges are less frequent now. But the blog -- the online record of her recovery -- keeps her honest about how far she's come.
She says she can tell it took her a full month to detox from the alcohol coursing through her body. Her posts were scattered, erratic. She still held onto the fantasy that her drinking problem was temporary, that she just needed to get control before she went back to drinking. Now, when she looks back, she sees the disease talking -- the alcohol-induced haze. She's reminded not just of who she was back then, but who she has become now. And, according to her, that's enough to keep the urges at bay.
So, I figure if it works for her, it might work for me, too. Even if I don't make it to sobriety, I'll have these posts to remind me that right here, right now, I think I have a problem. And really, that's the definition of a problem, isn't it? If you think you might have one, then you know for sure you do.
The only reason I started this blog was because of my sister. She's been sober over 2 years, though I didn't have a clue until she hit the six-month mark. She kept her sobriety a secret because she was afraid to fail. She's never set foot in a meeting, never told anyone about her struggles. Only her husband and I know she's in recovery. I asked her over the summer how she flipped the mental switch. How she went from drinking two bottles of wine and a six-pack a day in hiding to nothing all on her own.
Then she confessed her secret. She blogged. She has a random, secretive blog that she started at the beginning of her journey to sobriety. She says she doesn't post daily but as often as she needs to. She writes about her urge to drink instead of giving in. Those urges are less frequent now. But the blog -- the online record of her recovery -- keeps her honest about how far she's come.
She says she can tell it took her a full month to detox from the alcohol coursing through her body. Her posts were scattered, erratic. She still held onto the fantasy that her drinking problem was temporary, that she just needed to get control before she went back to drinking. Now, when she looks back, she sees the disease talking -- the alcohol-induced haze. She's reminded not just of who she was back then, but who she has become now. And, according to her, that's enough to keep the urges at bay.
So, I figure if it works for her, it might work for me, too. Even if I don't make it to sobriety, I'll have these posts to remind me that right here, right now, I think I have a problem. And really, that's the definition of a problem, isn't it? If you think you might have one, then you know for sure you do.
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