Enough is Enough?

This photo was taken exactly one month ago and it's the most embarrassing injury of my life. The night before, I drank over two bottles of wine while attempting to cook a month's worth of meals for my family in a single day.
I woke up the next morning with a throbbing head, throbbing knee and no memory of much else. I hobbled to the bathroom and this is what I found when I dropped trou.
I don't remember how it got there. I assume I fell. I must have fallen. It hurt like hell but I didn't have much time to think because I was starting a new job that day. I snapped this photo in the office bathroom as a reminder of what happens when my drinking gets the best of me.
A month later, my knee is still bruised. Whatever happened, nobody saw. My husband hasn't mentioned it. My daughter is too young. I tried to piece together what happened but I've since given up. I wear long pants 24/7, hiding evidence of my over-indulgence from everyone -- including my husband.
I wish I could say this photo also marks the last day I drank. It's not.
It just marks the first day that I realized I have a drinking problem. I've spent the last month trying to wrap my brain around this problem. When it did it start? When did I lose control? Why? How? How did I have self-control at one point and then lose it all? I have no answers. All I know is that a year ago, I could stop at one glass of wine. Today, I will drink until every bottle in the house is empty or I pass out. I've tried controlling it. Tried abstaining. To have "just one." But the wine calls to me now, beckons me. The sound of its siren's call is deafening. I can't drown it out.