It's been a little under a month since I last drank to excess (translation: drank myself stupid). The cravings have subsided, and I am more relaxed now from day to day.
My current challenge is my husband. I have been struggling with how/when to tell him, and honestly, I'm still not sure exactly what to tell him. I have told him that I'm not interested in drinking right now. I really thought after my last binge (entire bottle of brandy), that he understood I have a problem and would piece together my sudden "not drinking" commitment.
Then Christmas rolled around and he offered to pick up wine from the store for me, and offered me a beer at a party. On New Year's, he kept trying to serve me a drink or give me a sip of his. He seemed surprised when I declined the sake toast and had cider instead. On New Year's Day, I just pretended to drink the sake and dumped it.
In his defense, I have never sat him down eye-to-eye and said, "I think I am an alcoholic, and I would like your support in going sober." I utter euphemisms like, "I'm cutting back," "I think I'm getting too old to party like I used to," "I'm just not in the mood to drink right now."
Those are not definitive statements. Really, I've just made it sound like I'm on a little diet. And though I have always thought he was smart enough to connect the dots, I have to remember that I have never been a daily drinker. So he's seen me get tipsy/drunk maybe twice a month over the last year.
At some point, we'll have to have "the talk." I just don't know when.
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